I feel this in my bones!! I hate that I interrupt people so often. I try to work on it but if I don’t I forget it all. It’s the worse because I do understand how it can seem so rude.
Yes, exactly this! The internal tug of war between not wanting to interrupt and knowing the thought will vanish if we don’t say it right then is so real. It’s not rudeness—it’s urgency wrapped in executive dysfunction. You’re not alone in this, and honestly, just being aware of it already shows your care and intention. Thank you for sharing it so honestly. 💛
If your interlocutors did not deduce that you are AuDHD by way of your appearance or behavior, then the only way they could understand that you are AuDHD is because you TOLD them. If you want to advocate for AuDHD awareness, you ought to expect to field questions. Shutting down questions because they seem ignorant ignores that they would not be asking questions of you without it. So, if the general public are not privy enough to deduce that you are AuDHD and you do not care to educate them, stop talking about it around them. I would say the same thing to a vegan and goes around telling everybody that they’re vegan but then laments questions from curious meat eaters.
I appreciate your perspective, Isaiah. But respectfully, being neurodivergent doesn’t make me a walking encyclopedia. Sharing my experience doesn’t equal signing up for constant emotional labor or unsolicited cross-examination. Sometimes I educate. Sometimes I set boundaries. Both are valid.
Jess, yes! That sacred rage is holy and justified. “I don’t mean to offend you…” is basically the starting pistol for me to brace myself. And “at least you…” is the emotional equivalent of stepping on a Lego. Thank you for naming it with fire and clarity. 🔥🖤
I can relate to this. At this point in my life, I would rather have respect, pure honesty, and loyalty. I’m done with fake love, especially when people don't like it when I don’t fit their narrative. You don’t want to come to America and live in a place like Charleston, SC—it's a toxic and stressful environment. I’d much rather be authentic than be respected by those who only love me when I perform. Keep your fake love; I want clarity, loyalty, and raw honesty. Charleston may look beautiful with talented people I look up to and respect, but it’s a stress trap disguised as culture for us in the spectrum.
I'm done pretending to be at peace to maintain fake friendships.
Leroy, I felt every word of this. That line—“I’m done pretending to be at peace to maintain fake friendships”—hits like a truth bomb. It takes so much energy to mold ourselves into what other people are comfortable with, especially when it means sacrificing our own peace just to belong.
I see you. Your clarity, loyalty, and raw honesty are powerful—and necessary. Thank you for sharing this so openly. Here’s to choosing authenticity over acceptance that comes with conditions. We deserve better.
Omg, the talking fast. 100% this! I moved from the PNW to Arizona. We talk fast in PNW. Here in Arizona? Not so much. And it drives me nuts. It's like I have to talk fast to keep up with my train of thought. When I try to slow down, it just increases my distraction. Because of this, I usually resort to emails, where I can get my entire thought out, but with the beautiful option of a delete button.
Haha yesss, I feel this SO hard! Fast talking is practically my love language at this point 😂 It’s wild how much of our communication style is shaped by our environment—and when it doesn’t match, it’s like running a high-speed train on a sleepy little track.
Or like when you "read" someone's mind, so sentences aren't as long, but they make sense to neurodivergents only. Think this goes hand in hand with that, lol.
Yes!! Like full telepathy vibes 🤯 Half a sentence, one eyebrow raise, a single meme—and boom, we understand each other perfectly. Neurodivergent minds be running on their own magical wavelength, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world 🧠⚡💬
Absolutely! All of this are reasons why I am so glad I get to work with the neuro-spicy community. Where I am one myself, it usually helps bridge the gap. That and I'm perpetually wondering if I actually am a client and just don't realize it.
It's like finding out you're pregnant and everyone has wonderful advice for you. Until someone lives with either autism or ADHD or both, it's very hard to understand what we go through. This is a really well-written piece. Aligns with many I suspect.
Thank you so much for this. You put it so beautifully—sometimes I do want to educate, and sometimes I just want to exist without being interrogated. Neurodivergence doesn’t come with a syllabus, and setting boundaries doesn’t make us less open or honest. I really appreciate your words. 💛
Yes. Yes. A thousand times. Yes. “I’m terrified I’ll forget what I was saying mid sentence because my brain just opened 17 new tabs.” Is just one of the thousand.
Right?! It’s like trying to hold onto a single balloon in a windstorm of chaos thoughts 😅 The number of conversations I’ve interrupted myself in is ridiculous. Grateful to know I’m not alone in this 17-tab life!
You aren't going to beleive this. But, this storm metaphor keeps returning. I love the balloon in the windstorm image. And I happened to have a few hours to myself to write this afternon, and storm metaphors seem to be in the universe at the moment :-).
I love that the storm metaphor is circling back to you—it’s wild how the universe keeps handing us the same imagery when we need it most. There's something powerful in finding language for the chaos. Can’t wait to see what the wind brings through your writing next. 💨🖋️
I'm neurodivergent and I can attest to every sensory element being turned up to eleven, is exhausting. When everything is at the same level of intensity it requires so much energy to just process the world. Flipping a table would be socially inappropriate but also totally badass!
Yes, exactly this! It’s like living in a world that never turns the volume down. Every sense, every emotion—full blast, all the time. And honestly? Flipping a table feels like self-care some days 😅🔥
One of my projects is hosting Diverging Poets of New England which creates a space for poets and fans of poetry who may need some accommodations (which I try to provide at all of the events that I organize or host). One thing I don't really do is share all of my diagnoses if I don't feel like it. I was able to work as a special agent/investigator for most of my life and held a TS/SCI clearance as I didn't tell anyone. I cleared cases at 3X the rate of anyone else despite treating every job I've ever had as a writing residency, taking two or three hour lunches, having no organization skills whatsoever, and being at various stages of my maladaptive habits which sometimes require(d) stays at month and a half yoga retreats with Bill W. And 15 minute checks.
Thank you thank you thank you!
I feel this in my bones!! I hate that I interrupt people so often. I try to work on it but if I don’t I forget it all. It’s the worse because I do understand how it can seem so rude.
Yes, exactly this! The internal tug of war between not wanting to interrupt and knowing the thought will vanish if we don’t say it right then is so real. It’s not rudeness—it’s urgency wrapped in executive dysfunction. You’re not alone in this, and honestly, just being aware of it already shows your care and intention. Thank you for sharing it so honestly. 💛
If your interlocutors did not deduce that you are AuDHD by way of your appearance or behavior, then the only way they could understand that you are AuDHD is because you TOLD them. If you want to advocate for AuDHD awareness, you ought to expect to field questions. Shutting down questions because they seem ignorant ignores that they would not be asking questions of you without it. So, if the general public are not privy enough to deduce that you are AuDHD and you do not care to educate them, stop talking about it around them. I would say the same thing to a vegan and goes around telling everybody that they’re vegan but then laments questions from curious meat eaters.
I appreciate your perspective, Isaiah. But respectfully, being neurodivergent doesn’t make me a walking encyclopedia. Sharing my experience doesn’t equal signing up for constant emotional labor or unsolicited cross-examination. Sometimes I educate. Sometimes I set boundaries. Both are valid.
“Flip a table” is one of my most favourite things to say when I am feeling that sacred rage.
And I hold the rage right alongside you when people begin their sentences with “I don’t mean to offend you…”
I feel the rage equally with “you should…” and with “at least you….”(that last one is a doozy for widows I tell you.)
Jess, yes! That sacred rage is holy and justified. “I don’t mean to offend you…” is basically the starting pistol for me to brace myself. And “at least you…” is the emotional equivalent of stepping on a Lego. Thank you for naming it with fire and clarity. 🔥🖤
I can relate to this. At this point in my life, I would rather have respect, pure honesty, and loyalty. I’m done with fake love, especially when people don't like it when I don’t fit their narrative. You don’t want to come to America and live in a place like Charleston, SC—it's a toxic and stressful environment. I’d much rather be authentic than be respected by those who only love me when I perform. Keep your fake love; I want clarity, loyalty, and raw honesty. Charleston may look beautiful with talented people I look up to and respect, but it’s a stress trap disguised as culture for us in the spectrum.
I'm done pretending to be at peace to maintain fake friendships.
Leroy, I felt every word of this. That line—“I’m done pretending to be at peace to maintain fake friendships”—hits like a truth bomb. It takes so much energy to mold ourselves into what other people are comfortable with, especially when it means sacrificing our own peace just to belong.
I see you. Your clarity, loyalty, and raw honesty are powerful—and necessary. Thank you for sharing this so openly. Here’s to choosing authenticity over acceptance that comes with conditions. We deserve better.
Exactly btw don't forget to check your DMs I've sent some more ideas.
Omg, the talking fast. 100% this! I moved from the PNW to Arizona. We talk fast in PNW. Here in Arizona? Not so much. And it drives me nuts. It's like I have to talk fast to keep up with my train of thought. When I try to slow down, it just increases my distraction. Because of this, I usually resort to emails, where I can get my entire thought out, but with the beautiful option of a delete button.
Haha yesss, I feel this SO hard! Fast talking is practically my love language at this point 😂 It’s wild how much of our communication style is shaped by our environment—and when it doesn’t match, it’s like running a high-speed train on a sleepy little track.
Email = my safe space too.
Appreciate you sharing this—I felt every word!
Or like when you "read" someone's mind, so sentences aren't as long, but they make sense to neurodivergents only. Think this goes hand in hand with that, lol.
Yes!! Like full telepathy vibes 🤯 Half a sentence, one eyebrow raise, a single meme—and boom, we understand each other perfectly. Neurodivergent minds be running on their own magical wavelength, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world 🧠⚡💬
Absolutely! All of this are reasons why I am so glad I get to work with the neuro-spicy community. Where I am one myself, it usually helps bridge the gap. That and I'm perpetually wondering if I actually am a client and just don't realize it.
Flip that table!
It's like finding out you're pregnant and everyone has wonderful advice for you. Until someone lives with either autism or ADHD or both, it's very hard to understand what we go through. This is a really well-written piece. Aligns with many I suspect.
Thank you so much for this. You put it so beautifully—sometimes I do want to educate, and sometimes I just want to exist without being interrogated. Neurodivergence doesn’t come with a syllabus, and setting boundaries doesn’t make us less open or honest. I really appreciate your words. 💛
Flip the fkg table.
That scratchy tag in my shirt is killing me 👚
YESSSS i can’t do it!
I feel this I always end up saying I can explain my stuff for days but you wont eve get it lol
Yes. Yes. A thousand times. Yes. “I’m terrified I’ll forget what I was saying mid sentence because my brain just opened 17 new tabs.” Is just one of the thousand.
Right?! It’s like trying to hold onto a single balloon in a windstorm of chaos thoughts 😅 The number of conversations I’ve interrupted myself in is ridiculous. Grateful to know I’m not alone in this 17-tab life!
You aren't going to beleive this. But, this storm metaphor keeps returning. I love the balloon in the windstorm image. And I happened to have a few hours to myself to write this afternon, and storm metaphors seem to be in the universe at the moment :-).
I love that the storm metaphor is circling back to you—it’s wild how the universe keeps handing us the same imagery when we need it most. There's something powerful in finding language for the chaos. Can’t wait to see what the wind brings through your writing next. 💨🖋️
I'm neurodivergent and I can attest to every sensory element being turned up to eleven, is exhausting. When everything is at the same level of intensity it requires so much energy to just process the world. Flipping a table would be socially inappropriate but also totally badass!
Yes, exactly this! It’s like living in a world that never turns the volume down. Every sense, every emotion—full blast, all the time. And honestly? Flipping a table feels like self-care some days 😅🔥
Yes, yes, yes, especially the 17 tabs open
One of my projects is hosting Diverging Poets of New England which creates a space for poets and fans of poetry who may need some accommodations (which I try to provide at all of the events that I organize or host). One thing I don't really do is share all of my diagnoses if I don't feel like it. I was able to work as a special agent/investigator for most of my life and held a TS/SCI clearance as I didn't tell anyone. I cleared cases at 3X the rate of anyone else despite treating every job I've ever had as a writing residency, taking two or three hour lunches, having no organization skills whatsoever, and being at various stages of my maladaptive habits which sometimes require(d) stays at month and a half yoga retreats with Bill W. And 15 minute checks.
https://christalamb.com/diverging-poets/
You go Sar! Take no prisoners! 👊
I do it more out pity for the ignorant.